While dating is always stressful, single people over 40 have unique issues and challenges. Some of these are worries about appearance such as weight or thinning hair, issues about having children already or not being able to have more, and even just being out of practice with socializing.
Since men are still the ones who normally initiate dates, tips for men over 40 are particularly relevant. First off, if a woman is confident to ask you, feel flattered, and then accept the date. This way, you know she is interested, and you didn’t have to ask her out and get turned down.
Asking a woman out can be awkward for anyone, but if you haven’t done so for 10 or 20 or more years it can be terrifying. Understand that women are nervous too and just be honest about your desire to get to know the person. Just be yourself and ask to do something together.
An easy date to meet for a cup of coffee will probably be less stressful and less threatening than meeting at a more romantic place. A coffee shop also helps avoid the topic of alcohol, which can be a dicey subject in some situations. Plus it is almost impossible to really get to know someone over the loud music associated with a club.
You should also be prepared for a negative reaction, but be sure you can differentiate between whether she is turning you down or whether she is just not interested in the activity you have chosen. She may not be into sports, or capable of playing golf or dancing. If you suggest alternative activities, different days, or various venues, you will discover whether it is the place or just that she is not interested in seeing you.
Most importantly, men over 40 should be able to accept no for an answer occasionally. Just because you don’t have chemistry with one person does not mean you are a poor date for everyone. Be nice and accept that it isn’t personal. If you keep trying, you will find the right person for you.
Other dating tips for men over 40 include what not to do. Don’t, for example, spend your date talking about your ex and your other dates, unless this is done humorously. Don’t be smarmy either and gush with empty compliments. Be pleasant and mean the compliments you give as women can tell when you are being sincere.
You should also avoid talking incessantly about your family. Mentioning your children if fine, but don’t end up showing tons of pictures or going on and on about them. You two barely know each other yet, so don’t make it seem as if you are auditioning her for the role of stepmother already.
You should also make sure you are not acting as if you are just looking for sex. Be friendly and even flirty, but not overwhelmingly sexual. Things will progress as they should, and you don’t want to send the wrong message.
Finally, be yourself. Nothing is worse than being phony and then trying to remember what nonsense you have put out there. You cannot pretend to be something or someone you are not forever and this would doom any chance of the truly lasting relationship.
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2 responses to Dating When Youre Over 40
In my opinion, most people set the bar far too high when it comes to dating. It’s not that serious. It’s supposed to be FUN!
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I think, You may have children you need to consider. This is actually an advantage – you know how serious your decisions are and the impact they can have on your life, so your decisions are therefore likely to be much more balanced, less idealistic.
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